RIP Bridget Jones – the new face of Renée Zellwegger

I can’t stop looking at Renée Zellwegger’s ‘new’ face. Not because I think she looks beautiful but because The Tourist’s punchline never rang more true: “Twenty million dollars on plastic surgery and that is the face you choose?”

I have never understood the appeal of plastic surgery.I know lots of people who have had it done and that is their choice. My mum always wanted it but I would never let her, not that she needed it. I understand it appeals to someone’s confidence and of course if a medical recommendation is made, 100% all the way.

BUT…I know or have seen so few women and men that look better post-surgery, it is upsetting. And I wonder WHY Renée felt the need to actually change her face. Is she trying to look more Hollywood ‘bland’ or just desperate for column inches, all for the wrong reasons?

I wonder if she is happy with her new face? Does anyone recognise her when she walks into a room? What would Bridget write in her diary? Maybe something like this:-

“Totally fucked up my plastic surgery face. Shall never leave the house again. No one will want an egghead. Will never read women’s magazines again. Where are my fags? Shit, can’t smoke, face won’t move. Shit, fuck, bollocks…”.

Bridget Jones is an international legacy that bonded Zellwegger’s career. It doesn’t matter that she wore big pants (we all have done on more than one occasion) but Bridget Jones showed the world that being insecure and a klutz is real, funny and endearing. She gave women everywhere hope.

And hope is a good thing. Bridget Jones was a much loved character that emerged on our screens based on Helen Fielding’s true-to-life diary and we empathised and related with Bridget, Mr Darcy and all of the characters. Particularly as a 30-something or ‘alienated’ singleton, I don’t think any of us could listen to ‘All By Myself’ again and not think of her.

I myself made my own version of this song, singing it as a five year old would, crying fake tears. I believe my best friend still has this on his phone somewhere and it was at his very restaurant that Bridget fattened up for the role: feasting on indulgent pasta and pizza.

Bridget was the Adrian Mole of adulthood, albeit with very bad cooking skills and a penchant for turning up to parties wearing the wrong clothes. Bridget forms part of British heritage and Xmas TV tradition and Renée totally ‘killed’ a British accent.

I am sad that I will never see Bridget Jones again as old and smug-married with Colin Firth’s salt n’ peppa brow. Meryl Streep manages to dominate our screens whatever role she plays: from her characters in Mamma Mia to August: Osage County, her features and form seem to mould into whomever she needs to be, without surgery. So why would Renée have made such a grandiose decision to completely remodel her face. Watch this space for her next movie announcement or her complete mental breakdown.

Bridget Jones, RIP.You will always be loved by this 44 year old. Number of cigarettes today: 0. Number of alcohol units: 0. Number of boyfriends: 0. Roll on Xmas.